Parenthood

In my ripe-old age of 23 years + my lengthy experience of 4.5 months as a mother to an incredibly animated yet angelic child, I feel that this qualifies me as an expert in the field of parenthood. Well, not really, but I'm convinced I've learned a thing or two in the process. 

While quite a few of our friends are having babies soon (and some are seriously considering it), it seems as though more parents-to-be have approached me with that panicked look in their eyes that screams "I'm not a parent yet, help me!". These people come to me asking what Isuggest on various topics (which, if you know me, is actually quite humorous in itself), and I have to remind myself that I have indeed been entrusted with a baby myself. This translates into me supposedly having some sort of information or knowledge, so to speak, on the subject. Like we mothers know some secret, or the answer to a riddle, as soon as our babies come into the world. And while that might be true for some people, it wasn't the case for me. I've realized that most of what I know now, I knew all along. 

I'll give you what I've got. This is what I know, in a nutshell. And keep in mind, this is a reflection of my husband's and my opinions as parents, and it's what works for us. (And if you're already a parent, you know: whatever is most functional is always what you go with!)

1. Get Pampers. Do yourself (or whoever does the laundry in your house) a favor, and forego experimenting with every other diaper brand on the planet. Well, let me specify: if youbreastfeed your baby, get pampers. If you formula feed, lucky you. You can probably get away with any brand you want, assuming it has two tabs and some form of absorbancy in between. If you do decide to go with another brand, Huggies in particular, you'll probably find that your infant has more power behind his poops than some volcanos have behind their eruptions, causing you to have to bathe your wee one approximately every time he messes his diaper (6-8 times per day, sometimes). And as fun as baths are with a new baby, the stained clothes are not so much fun. Which brings me to my next point.

2. Get oxyclean. For poo-stained clothing, these are the steps I take:

-Get baby cleaned/bathed/changed first. Very important. Better yet, have husband do it.

-Put liquid detergent on yucky spots (both inside and out) and rub it in. Gross, I know.

-Soak in ice or very cold water 10-15 minutes.

-Remove from ice, apply shout/spray-n-wash to stain, let sit 5 minutes.

-Run washer on cold, put in detergent with appropriate amount of oxyclean. Put in stained clothes.

Comes out clean, every time! You'll thank me later. You must do this right away, though - if you let it sit or wash it regularly first, the stain will set and it will not come clean. White onesies are great, as they can be bleached. Love white. I didn't bleach anything when Luke was a newborn, as their skin is extra-sensitive. 

3. If you breastfeed or are planning to do so, get yourself a breastpump. A good one, too. I use the Medela Pump-in-Style. They're very expensive, but totally worth it. Even if you're not planning on going back to work, your body makes enough milk in the first 6 weeks to nurse the western hemisphere. I only wish someone had told me this in advance. My advice is to pump excess milk and store it in Lansinoh's storage bags. You can use it later, donate it, give it away if you know someone who needs it, or in some cases, I've heard you can sell it. Some people call it liquid gold.  

4. If you don't get a Moby Wrap at one of your baby showers, I would suggest getting one before your baby comes. If you're anything like me, you don't want to or dare to put your baby down for more than a few minutes at a time. This wrap helps keep baby close to you every second of every day, so you can go about your daily chores and snuggle all at the same time. It's an excellent tool used for multi-tasking. I know some girls that have home-made their own Moby Wraps out of fabric, so that's always an option as well. 

5. Newborns get CONGESTED! Luke was born during the RSV season, and whooping cough was supposedly circulating - not to mention the awful swine flu. At just a few weeks old I brought him in to Dr. Glade, panic-stricken, sure that he had contracted one of the 3 illnesses. I was wrong. He had light congestion. All you can do is prop them up and suck it out - not fun, but very, very normal. Every baby has this. Little Nosies Saline Drops can help break up the congestion, too.

6. We co-sleep, and we love it. Now, before you go and call CPS on us, allow me to be frank - I had every intention of having Luke sleep in a bassinet beside me for the first few months of his life. The first day he was brought home, though, he was in between Joey and I, snuggled up close to one or both of us throughout the entire night. It made nursing at night so convenient! It's in my nature to second-guess myself, especially when others would comment about how they'd never co-sleep for fear of rolling over onto the infant, husbands and wives need their space, we're going to have a co-sleeping 3-year old on our hands before we know it, blah, blah, blah. Everyone I talked to discouraged me in this to no end, and I was concerned that I was doing something wrong. But I didn't want to transition him to his crib until we were all good and ready. So, I educated myself on both sides and came to a conclusion. I found that co-sleeping is beneficial in many ways as opposed to sleeping in isolation for the child's self-esteem, IQ, temperment (they cry less), bond between both parents (so important), etc. I don't know how much of this is true, but I do know that I don't believe in letting my baby "cry it out" to go to sleep at night. They know that cuddles and kisses are appropriate during the day, but they need to learn that it's not okay at night? It really doesn't make sense. Babies cry because they want affection and reassurance, and that's what co-sleeping gives. Everyone gets more sleep, everyone's happier, healthier, and it definitely simplifies going on trips. And we adore cuddling up to our little one at night. This is something I feel very passionately about, and we'll definitely be co-sleeping with all of our babies.

You'll get loads of unsolicited advice from people, both with and without kids. Take it with a prenatal vitamin and be on your way.

7.  Balmex, not Desitin.

8. We own a Chicco travel system, and I couldn't be happier with it. We took forever deciding between that one and the Graco, and we love it. I would highly, highly recommend this product to anyone - it's a smaller design, both-gender friendly, and so easy to use. Not to mention it has the highest safety ratings on the market. I'm now obsessed with the Chicco brand and I love everything they make. They can be a bit pricey at times, but it is totally worth it.

9. After your baby is born, you will not have time to eat. So you can forget about it. Kiss it good-bye. All of our family had gone back to Henderson and Joey was back at work less than a week after I had the little guy, therefore resulting in my food supply vanishing. In other words, I didn't have someone at my house shoving homemade meals down my throat, I certainly didn't feel like cooking (don't be fooled, I still don't), and I wouldn't be caught dead driving anywhere to go fetch myself some grub. So, unless you have household help, a chauffeur, or you live next door to a McDonald's, you'll likely starve, and probably without realizing it. 

Sometimes people will ask me, "How did you lose all of your weight after you had your baby?" And I stare at them, just as puzzled as they are, and ask in return, "Where do you find the time to eat? May I borrow some?" The first few weeks after Luke was born, I survived off of my fat stores, Lean Cuisines, and the occasional handful of  sour skittles while I videotaped Luke's milestones. Even making the once-in-a-while grilled cheese sandwich seems like a dicey proposition when you have a newborn in your care. So, before you know it, you'll be back into your old jeans, wondering when the last time you had a hot meal that wasn't through the drive-thru was. I'm not saying I recommend it, I'm saying it's a fact.

10. Nobody has it together. And if they do, they're either lying to you, or they have some sort of compulsive personality disorder and should probably seek help. I've had the opportunity to spend time with many moms, both working and stay-at-home these past few months. If I've learned nothing else in my short time as a parent, I know now that we are all in the same boat when it comes to raising our children and what we want for them. All of us have 24 hours in our day, diapers that need changing, floors that need vacuuming, and husbands that need our TLC. I've never experienced a more challenging or rewarding task than being a stay-at-home mother to my baby, and I can't wait to see what's in store for me next. 

Last week, as I was taking a walk with Luke and Lilly, I suddenly became surrounded by children with backpacks and lunch boxes as I made my way up our street. Suddenly, it dawned on me that school had started back up (call me oblivious, because I am) and these kids were on their way home. I thought about where I was last year at this time and where I may have been this year. I realized then that I am so fortunate and blessed to be able to stay at home and raise Luke in the way that I've always wanted. To be able to wake up to him and cuddle all morning,  take him on walks, read him books before naptime and bedtime, rock him when he's sick or sad, nurse him at will, videotape everything (which I do, by the way), and be with him everyday to watch him grow and learn. Leaving him with someone while I taught school all day - just the thought of it makes me want to throw up. And to think I actually considered it! I know that many women need to work while they have children, and I have massive amounts of respect for those that do. I am just so grateful that I don't have to work outside of the home right now.

Nobody has it together, but it's so important to make every moment count. To me, this is the most overlooked aspect of parenthood. I think it's something we're all trying to do, but sometimes we forget. My baby is truly the absolute joy of my life, and my sweet husband is the most supportive and loving companion I could ever ask for. And, he's sexy. Always a plus.

So cheesy, I'm sorry. I can't help but feel obsessed with my life right now.

Well, that about wraps it up for me. Parenthood is the best invention ever. I hope this helps someone who's in need of some advice. If not, at least I've got some documentation for successive children, right? I'll try and upload some videos of Luke a little later tonight!